kirstencan

Floored

This kid.

Notice something missing?

Training wheels!

I am in shock.  Seriously.  His training wheels were not touching the ground, and when I pointed this out to Aaron they were quickly removed.  And the kid barely noticed.  He rode off just fine.  Actually, if we weren't cheering for him (and maybe getting a little teary - me) he might have thought this was no big deal.

Big deal!  Woo hoo!  I honestly thought there was a chance he would never 'really' ride a bike.  He has such coordination/balance issues, and hated anything to do with it until last month.  But hey.  He rocks.

And while his sister got a certificate when she learned (SO her), he got to pick cookies to make with Dad.  Chocolate crinkles are tasty.

*Oh, and for anyone with training wheel-aged kids, we LOVE the adjustable ones!  It's what both kids had (this kind - except the girl had stupid pink ones too, after I ran over the original good ones), and you can just slowly move the wheels up and when you take them off they are good to go.  No running with them or holding on to their bike at all!  So we've moved the 'good' training wheels to Monkey's bike.  He's nearly ready, too!

Super Proud

So proud of Thomas yesterday.  That boy.

You know my kids haven't come naturally to bike riding.  They're just not that into it.  Last year we did a bike chart where they got stickers for practicing every day, ending with a reward.

Last year the girl took off and now rides her bike every day. She's going to have a dance stretch/exercise chart this summer instead. Monkey had no problems but just isn't into bikes that much.  He'd rather run.

Thomas really struggled.  He wouldn't ride unless I was 'holding on' (just touching his back) and would count the number of times around the circle and stop exactly when he was done.  By the end of last summer I was proud that he'd do a quarter of our little circle without me holding on.  But that was it.  And once he got his prize, he would ride his scooter, but he didn't ride his bike again. 

Until yesterday, when I broke out the bike charts again.

He didn't want to do it.

Fine, I said, but you can't open your prize until you do.

He still didn't want to.  Until he did.

He asked me if he could just do one lap today.  I agreed and promised I wouldn't let go.  Baby steps to start.

After his one lap he stopped.  And asked his sister and brother to come race him.

What?!

He took off by himself (slowly) and went a few more times around the circle.

Actually, like a trillion times.

More bikes came out - all the neighbor kids had bikes, trikes, or scooters in the circle, and he loved it.  Once when he got stuck in a crack and I helped him out of it: Don't hold on, Mom!

Seriously?  What happened?

Something clicked yesterday, and I'm SO proud of him!  I think he might actually learn without training wheels at some point.  I wasn't sure, honestly.  I was thinking of getting him a gyrowheel this year, but they're so expensive and this year will be the last one he fits this bike (why isn't there a booming used market for gyrowheels?).

He rode for like an hour.  By the end he was picking up speed. I was shocked.  When we had to take his sister to dance, he tried to talk me into letting him stay and keep riding.  Sorry, bud.

When we got home he came inside for a few minutes, but when Aaron got home he wanted to race his dad and rode until dinner.

Which he scarfed, and then rode some more.  Those legs were pumping.

This morning he woke me up at 6:03am (he's not supposed to get up until 7:00) fully dressed (yesterday's outfit), glasses and shoes on, and asking if he can go ride his bike.

Holy cow!  I'm still so surprised.  This kid just does things on his own schedule.  But when he wants to do something, nothing can stop him.

And I love his red hair sticking out of his helmet (which I know isn't on right - I picked my battles yesterday).

Go buddy!

Sometimes

Sometimes when you homeschool, you can't find exactly what you'd like to use for history that day.  Like a little printable plague book.  Or a coloring page of an illuminated manuscript.

So during taekwondo, you make your own. 

Using this as inspiration (the boys liked this book).  Wondering why you're going to this much trouble, as your fine-motor delayed boy will just color the whole thing one color.

Sometimes when you homeschool, you are surprised, and he rocks it.

Yeah, just a coloring page, but he was SO careful with this one, and I was way impressed by the number of colors he used!

Yay for surprises!

Basketball

We are nearing the end of my second season coaching the young women's basketball team at church.

It's been kinda awesome.  But not in the way I expected.

Not that I was dreading it or anything, I love basketball, and coaching is so much more fun than coaching volleyball, which I do in the fall.

I guess I wasn't prepared to learn so much? 

I don't know.

First off, I didn't have to take the kiddos to practice with me this year.  Last year, that was HARD.  This year it was easier to run better practices.  I even made them run a suicide (once) just so if I ever run into my high school coach, Ms. Lawson, I could tell her I did.  Oh, how we hated the suicide.

Thomas has LOVED coming to games.  He's never done that before.  I couldn't coach and keep track of him at the same time.  But this year it turned out that I had to take him to the first game.  We got there early, during the game before us.  He was really into watching it at first, but HATED the buzzer.  Hated in such a way that only sensory-sensitive kiddos can.  He was shaking and wouldn't uncover his ears.

Darn it.  I called Aaron to tell him to swing by ASAP (after picking up the girl from dance - logistics lately has been crazy) to pick him up, making mental backup plans if he wasn't here soon enough (so-and-so can take him to walk the halls).

BUT, Thomas surprised me.  As soon as my girls started showing up, he did a 180.  He greeted them all, and told them to put on their uniform, showing them where the uniform bag was.  He was so excited for them.  When we met with the other team to do the pre-game theme and prayer, he tried to say the theme, too. He sat with the team and cheered "Go Mermaids!!!  Go go go!" Then he sat with our neighbor who runs the officials' table.  He brought his beloved puppy Slush and showed everyone.

When Aaron came to get him... he didn't want to leave!  I was so proud of him.  He overcame his sensory stuff because he was motivated to be with the people he likes.  That's kinda awesome.

Each game, he insisted on going.  The second game he started asking for his own uniform.  He volunteered to give the theme many times (he wasn't taken up on that, but said it with everyone as best he could).  He cheered.  The girls loved him and called him their mascot.  When we huddled, he huddled.  He gave them excellent advice like 'Don't get hurt!' and 'We need to win the game!' that they thought was awesome.  Once he did a funky dance for everyone in the huddle and made them laugh. He asked me several times 'When do I get to go in?'.  The girls took the bench farther from the buzzer and closer to the official's table every game - for him - even though they prefer the other bench.

One game he had a hard time.  He didn't want to go home, but wouldn't stay by me.  Luckily, I knew there were enough people from the neighborhood there who would keep an eye on him.  It takes a village, right?  At one time out, he ran off into the hall, and a couple of my girls who were on the bench just called out 'Got him!' and went to bring him back.  Up until that time I had been thinking how good this was for him, to socialize and all, but then I realized it was also good for the girls.  And how much more did I love those girls when they loved my son?  I now have a new perspective on this scripture.

The girls lost a game.  "Why?  Why did the white team win?"  He was so sad.  When I told this to the girls, they were more motivated to win the next game.

Before the last stake game, he wanted to warm up with the girls.  He doesn't really have the coordination yet.  He has trouble throwing and catching, and wanted to dribble, but couldn't figure it out.  I think we'll be working on this a lot come summer.  But he was glad to get out on the court with the team.

We lost that game.  He cried.  The girls were so concerned for him.  We got to tell him how we still get to go to the tournament.  Now he's excited every Thursday in case it's game day.  And he tells everyone how 'we' are going to a tournament. 

I also wasn't expecting this to be my last season coaching, as I have now been called to be in the Primary presidency (over teaching the children).  I still get to coach them at the regional tournament, but then I'm done.  So I made sure to make the girls cute valentines:

Cookies (that look green, ironically) that said 'Go blue' and 'U R Awesome' packaged in cello bags.

Love that boy.  Love those girls!  What a great time I've had, and how much I have learned! 

Dog Days

Our neighbors got a puppy. 

A teeny tiny puppy.

I was torn between: "Oh, great, now our kids will really want a dog" and "Thanks, now we don't have to get one, they'll play with yours."

And play they did.

Especially Thomas.  He is such a dog kiddo.  We go on walks around the neighborhood and he'll usually find a dog to visit.  We are lucky to know nearly everyone in our neighborhood, so it's easy.  He used to love stopping at a huge german shepherd's house.  He's not scared of any dogs, even if they're HUGE or jump.

Anyway, Thomas talked of two things all week:  the new puppy, and the dog at swimming lessons who will jump into the pool.

He knocked on the puppy's door wanting to play, and frequently got to. 

He learned to smack his lips or pat his lap to call the puppy, who didn't know his name yet.  He got nipped by the very excited puppy and didn't mind. He went for a 'walk' (where the owner's kid carried the puppy) with him and came out in his pj's to play first thing in the morning.

True puppy love.

After one week, the family sold the puppy.

Their son told my boys during church right before Sacrament meeting.  They came in saying 'Cody's gone?'  and I knew this would be bad.  Monkey sat next to me, blinking his eyes really fast with a lip quiver.  Thomas started crying louder, so I took him out to the foyer.

It took half an hour to calm him down.  He was completely heartbroken.  He was sobbing and sobbing and asking 'Why did they sell him?' and 'Where did he go?'  and saying 'My heart is broken' and 'I don't like dogs anymore'.  He was also very concerned about he puppy's safety at his new place: 'Robbers will come!' and 'There will be a fire!'

One of those times where I wanted to cry with him, but I also wanted to laugh.

I reminded him of the other dogs* on the street that he loves to play with and the swimming dog.  The former owner was in the foyer too, so he was trying to answer the 'why' question and tell about the puppy's new big brother dog, and someone walking by us stopped to tell him to come visit her dog.

The rest of the day was a nightmare.  Tantrum city.  That continued Monday.  Tuesday was better, but not good.  Finally he calmed down.  I really think he was grieving.

It kinda sucked.

I have frequently felt guilty about not getting this kid a dog.  Because he LOVES dogs and because supposedly it's good for spectrum kiddos.  But I just can't do it.  Up till now I don't know if Thomas was ready, but mostly I just can't handle that on top of everything else. Also, I hate touching animals, and going down the pet aisle at the grocery store makes me want to gag.  I am the farthest thing from a dog person.

I wish I could, that puppy was adorable.  And for the first time I'm saying 'Maybe someday'.

*We visited the best and most favorite dog on our street the other day and the owner told me that poor Bailey has cancer.  Great.  I think I need to prepare Thomas for this one so it doesn't come as a shock.  Poor kid.

"School" Lunches

Watching Jamie Oliver made me want to strive for better school lunches for my kids - even though they're not in school.  We eat pretty healthy anyway, make all of our own bread, etc., but I wanted to do better.

I've never been a lunch person and am not a huge fan of sandwiches.  I have picky eaters.  Well, mostly (for the record, while Monkey hates most things dinner-related, he will eat nearly anything out of our garden).  But I decided that enough was enough.

I broke out the carrot peeler.  For lunch.  One of my kids loves carrots, one hates them, and one hasn't tried them (one of the lovely benefits of sensory issues for my spectrum kiddo is that he has no desire to try anything new - and we pick our battles).

But Try Something New became our new mantra. And they ALL had at least a couple of carrot sticks with their lunch.

And then we all cheered and called Aaron at work to tell him the big news Because seriously?  Thomas ate CARROTS (plural!) - that was really big news!

You might remember they got new plates in their Easter baskets.  I found these cool divided plates at Target (can't find them now - but they were with the summer-themed BBQ type stuff) and got two for the bigger kids and a little monkey plate for the monkey.

I almost got these lunch trays - but they're kinda big.

(ham + cheese quesadillas, apple slices, walnuts, and a mini salad with homemade poppy seed dressing - the gluten-free kiddo had an almond butter sandwich with apple, ham slice, and salad)

I don't know if it's because I'm such a visual person or what, but having the divided plates makes it way easier for me to make a healthy/varied lunch.  It's like packing bentos.  On each plate are 4 spaces to fill.  I just make sure that each plate at least one 'growing' thing on it and some protein.

(homemade whole-wheat pita (made by my mom) with cheese, carrots (with ranch to dip), and applesauce)

It's a great way to use up leftovers, too - my kids can each get a little bit of the leftover pasta, or rice, curry, whatever.  And since it's divided, they know that if it's something they don't like - at least it's just a small bit, it's not like I gave them a HUGE bowl of it.  And they have to eat that small bit in it's entirety.

 

(left: rice crackers, tortilla chips, hummus, salsa, carrot sticks.  right:  homemade muffins, cashews, carrots, hard-boiled egg)

It's totally working for Thomas - so glad!  The first week of pushing veggies (he's a fruit guy) + trying new stuff he tried:  salad (with two different dressings and he now accepts it with no complaints!!!), carrots, peas, and bok choy.  Yeah, baby.

The new plates distracted Princess for a while - she would be excited to have a 'muffin-tin lunch' again.  Until she realized that they usually included a green thing - she's not fond of green things.  But for the most part this has worked brilliantly for her, too.

 

(sandwich (with lettuce!), baked beans (Monkey had been begging for them), salsa, chips)

We've been doing this for a few weeks now and I'm very happy with the results.  Some lunches are better than others, some are more interesting than others, and this doesn't happen every day (today all of their plates were in the dishwasher at lunch time).  But most days it does! And just getting to a point where I could just put my foot down about trying new things (for a while we just weren't there) has made a huge difference.

If you watched Jamie Oliver too, you know that in the last episode he was very unhappy with the brown-baggers.  But if I packed my kids lunches every day, I think I'd do okay.  At least we're not in a sandwich rut anymore. 

And a note to my children:  Yes, your nerdy mother will no longer be photographing your lunches before you eat them. 

Probably.

Breaks my heart

I was in the grocery store waiting for a prescription at the pharmacy.  I browsed the books while I was waiting and came across this book by Jodi Piccoult:

This is what it says on the inside flap:

"They tell me I'm lucky to have a son who's so verbal, who is blisteringly intelligent, who can take apart the broken microwave and have it working again an hour later. They think there is no greater hell than having a son who is locked in his own world, unaware that there's a wider one to explore. But try having a son who is locked in his own world, and still wants to make a connection. A son who tries to be like everyone else, but truly doesn't know how."

Wow, did that ever strike home.  My spectrum kiddo is SO social.  It made him hard to diagnose, actually.  He always wants to be with friends.  He is always trying to talk to the kids in his church class or people we meet at the park - but they usually don't know what to make of my kid.  What motivates him to get his work done is the thought of playing outside with his friends later.  And when they can't play he's usually crushed.  But sometimes/often it's hard to watch his interactions with his friends.

Sometimes it all goes south so quickly.

One afternoon this week several boys decided to be really mean to him.  REALLY mean. I won't get into details, but it was particularly awful that afternoon.

When your kid gets their feelings hurt, it breaks your heart a little.

When my spectrum kiddo gets his feelings hurt... it SUCKS.  There's not another word for it.  Breaks my heart bigtime, and while we've dealt with teasing quite a bit it NEVER gets easier.  I was in tears right along with him -  shouldn't I be used to it by now?  

It SUCKED.

He didn't get it either, at least not right away, and I was repeatedly trying to tell him 'Hey, they're not being nice right now, let's go do something else' which he didn't want to do.  He just kept saying 'But they're my friends."

Not right now, kiddo.

What a crappy afternoon.

This has been the hardest part of having a special needs kid, I think.  Sometimes I wonder if our life would be easier with less kids around to play with (or want to play with constantly).  We live on a circle with ELEVEN little boys.  It gets a little nuts.  So sometimes I wish we could just go live up in the woods with plenty to do, but maybe not so many people.

Or, maybe not.

So I'm sending virtual big hugs to all the "Special" moms out there.  You might need them today.

*********

The book sounds kinda interesting, but the premise is quite a bit like The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time which I really enjoyed.  I don't know if I'll read this one.  It's also interesting that she came out with this book (and NBC came out with a show) about Aspergers right when it is announced that Aspergers will no longer be a separate diagnosis from Autism.

Hair Dryer Brains

I need to share with you a series of posts that MOM-NOS has just finished up.  Her son is on the Autism spectrum and in the 4th grade.  He has a pretty amazing setup, with an inclusion aide and very supportive teachers.

His classmates had some questions about him and Autism in general, so they wrote down their questions and MOM-NOS gave a presentation answering them.  These kids are pretty awesome.  They voluntarily gave up their lunch recess (well, most of them) to listen and ask questions.

Not only is she a fabulous writer, but she blew me away with the first part of her presentation:  What is Autism?

So, will you please take a minute and read that?  It's the best analogy I've heard yet to describe Autism and I love it. 

I've already passed this on to most of my family and many neighbors.  I'm also going to have my daughter read through the whole series - she 'gets' her brother pretty well, but I think it'll be good for her.

Please also pass on the links to anyone who might benefit from learning more about Autism (uh, that would be everyone).

Thank you.

.......

What is Autism?

The whole presentation

Lego Maniacs

So, I think that Legos are THE coolest toy.  Period. 

I loved playing with Legos growing up (my brothers'), and it's fun now that all of my kids play with Lego bricks as well.  We have boxes of them - regular and Duplo, and they all get used often.

Lately, though, Thomas has been even more into them (which is saying a lot, quite frankly) it's turning into a kind of fixation -  kind of the way he used to be fixated on Thomas trains.  The new train table has been in constant Lego use.  Constant.  And the Lego catalogs and magazines are all over the house.

He has always taken his Lego models apart.  And I have no problem with that. He makes his own things up and they're cool.  That's what Legos are for.  After painstakingly putting together a helicopter, he immediately took some pieces off, and customized it - including adding wheels.  See, that's cool.

It is annoying when asked to help put one back together, and then he immediately takes it apart, but whatever.

 

But suddenly, he's leaving his models together.  It started with this police car he bought with his own money.  It's still together, a month later.

So Aaron thought it would be fun to put all of his Lego models back together before his birthday on Friday (7!).  So we've been spending hours sorting through the bricks, finding the ones that go to specific Star Wars ships, etc.  The kid is SO happy as he's seeing them come back together.  We're about half way there, I think.

 

I am not made for this type of meticulous work, though, I tell ya.  It's driving me crazy digging through the boxes for the tiniest of pieces.  But Aaron's right, it's the perfect thing to do for Thomas' birthday (well, besides another Lego Star Wars ship!).

One evening we were both sitting sorting through the Lego boxes and I chuckled and thought "Ten years ago we wouldn't have thought we'd be spending a Friday night doing this!" 

Except, yeah, we probably could have called it.  Heh - geeks.

....

*Oh, and thanks for the nice comments about my playroom!  Also thanks to Ohdeedoh for giving my playroom a shout out last week!

Bats and Pumpkins

Thomas always had a difficult time in the fall.  Well, the last couple of years anyway.  I blame adjusting to having to wear socks, long pants and jackets, and the last two years also having a hard time adjusting to frustrating school situations and schedules. 

But on top of that, he gets easily spooked about Halloween.

He has some anxiety issues about it I think (not surprising, really) and gets 'jumpy' for the rest of the day if he sees anything scary. 

Like, for example, me taking him into the Halloween Store.  As soon as we walked in I knew that that was a stupid idea.   Because we even have to skirt the Halloween area at Target.  Stupid - I totally wasn't thinking that day.

The hard/confusing thing is that Thomas actually loves Halloween.  He loves all the non-scary parts, like dressing up, the church carnival, the pumpkin patch, and watching Charlie Brown.  So he's excited about it, but... we have to be careful.

Anyway, I did want to up the Halloween decorations this year, since it's the first year that everyone is home full-time - usually we've had a preschool party at least to go to or something.  You know, just a little more festive.  And I'm planning a (VERY small!  laid-back! not-spooky!) party for the kids and a few friends.  And I do love party planning and decorating!

I made a Halloween bunting for the living room (close-up later maybe):

And I spent an hour or two cutting out bats on Sunday.  Various sizes, shapes, and papers.  I made a tissue paper bat garland (idea from here) and hung it over a window.  Then Thomas started getting jumpy again.

By 'jumpy', I mean that he literally jumps and sometimes yells if anyone talks even slightly loud, or sneezes in his general direction.  It's not a good thing.

So, the garland got rolled up, and the other bats got stuck in an envelope before they were hung up.  I'm thinking they might come out for the party - but that's it.

Aaron suggested skipping Halloween - but that's so hard to do.  And I LOVE Halloween!  And so do the kids.  Next year we might just get out the Halloween stuff a few days before the actual day, though.  None of this month-long decorating and celebrating (when did everyone start doing that anyway?).

Really, I don't even know if we'll do the Halloween Night at the botanical garden.  We were planning on it since it's been a couple of years since we did that and it was such fun last time!  We're sticking to Charlie Brown and Max and Ruby, too - probably no Ichabod this year.

At least the kid loved the pumpkin patch.

Loved it.  And is planning a Star Trek jack'o'lantern for his pumpkin.

And the bunting and quilt are still out, but that's it.  Darn it.

**********

p.s. if anyone out there is room mom for Halloween this year - I posted what I did in Thomas' kindergarten class last year HERE