kirstencan

Garden Party

I got to go to an Art Garden Party with Thomas.  It was an end of the year activity for the kids in the integrated preschool program (delayed/autistic + non-delayed).

It was way fun - the gym walls were covered with these huge flowers, a notebook filled with photos/anecdotes of each kid + a framed painting they'd done in class.

Thomas' painting:  I swear the kid is my favorite artist.

They performed a couple of songs for the parents, and then everyone headed outside - where a ton of fun activities had been set up.  Along with bubble and rice tables, tunnels and giant balls, there was a ton of painting activities.  Had I known about the amount of paint in the vicinity I definitely would have put junkier clothes on him...

Painting with water (on the walls), on easels, with foot stamps, koosh balls, rubber band brushes, spray bottles, trucks, etc.  Of course it took all of 3 minutes for Thomas to be covered in paint...

He ran around lots and played with his friends under the giant parachute.  It was really great to see that he has friends - friends who were excited to see him and wanted to hang out with him.  It's harder for him with the neighborhood kids.

He got his face painted to look like a cat - and it was so very ticklish for him - pretty hilarious.  He had everyone around smiling - his smile is so infectious.

He had a great time, and when I was tucking him in that night he said:  "Thanks for going to my garden party with me."

I wouldn't miss it, kiddo!

(Oh, and BTW, the paint washed out!  Hoorah, that's a first!)

 

The Kindgergarten Decision

Sorry, guys, I've just gotta let this out today - mostly just to organize my thoughts:

Thomas is scheduled to start Kindergarten this summer. 

For those who don't know, he is currently in a full-day preschool at a school for children with Autism.  He was the only child in his class whose parents didn't apply for the kindergarten there.

We don't know what to do about kindergarten, quite frankly.

I thought that school would be the best situation for him as long as he was happy and had a good setup.  They have routines - he loves routines and it's hard to have strict routines at home - stuff WILL come up (case in point:  2008 so far). 

I feel a little bad about sending him to school when we don't send Princess and aren't planning on sending Monkey.  But as I've said, that is a choice we make individually for each of our children. 

I thought that I'd like to keep Thomas home at some point - maybe after he's had a few years of schooling under his belt, hopefully at that point his attention span would be a little better, and he'd know how to read (I'm not scared of teaching him to read - he's starting to - he just doesn't like to sit and work on it with me at home).

I feel entirely different about that now.  I stumbled upon this book called Home Educating Our Autistic Spectrum Children on Amazon, and luckily, my library had it.  It was quite good.  Surprisingly helpful.  Set up as the stories of 15 or so families and their experiences and why they started homeschooling their Autistic spectrum (nearly all were Asperger's) children.  What was really helpful was that their children were older than mine, and most of them were pulled out of school at some point.  You could see the problems the kids had had in school - and so many of them had similar problems - some of which we've already seen with Thomas/his school this year.  It really flipped my viewpoint completely. (Side note - one of the homeschooling books that really helped us decide to do it was set up in a similar way - just lots of families stories.  All different, none that I related or agreed with completely, no preaching - but very helpful all the same - and I can't remember the title...).

This book made me re-evaluate our decision to keep Thomas in school.  All of the kids in the book learned so much better without all the classroom distractions and more one-on-one attention. Also, in our area they teach reading using the whole-language (sight reading) method, which I strongly disagree with (Phonics! Phonics!).  Thomas is getting both.  At home we work on phonics, but at school they are using the Edmark program, which is sight reading.  So why do I want him to learn reading at school?  I don't!

Like many of the children in the book (and many children with no delays or diagnoses, actually), many days Thomas has meltdowns after school.  He works hard at his behavior and ignoring the overstimulation at school which just takes up all his energy, and when he's home he lets go.  This happens nearly every Sunday as well - his behavior at church is getting better and better - but when he gets home he's done.  Usually when he's home for a long-weekend or has a school break he's a happier kid overall.  Not so many meltdowns.

In our situation, there are three choices for Kindergarten:  homeschool, mainstream, or 'diagnostic kindergarten' (a special ed kindergarten class).  We've had some issues with Thomas mimicking his lower-functioning classmates.  He needs to be around non-delayed peers for social modeling, his teachers and the district agree.  So that knocks out option 3.  I just had a meeting with the school psychologist at his possibly soon-to-be new school.  I walked in thinking 'Well, he may not even go to school, but I'm not going to tell her that - I need to see all the options', and walked out thinking 'Wow, this might work for him.'

And now I have no idea what to do.  More and more, as positive as the counselor made the situation seem, I'm thinking that it might not work out.  He'd be in a large room divided into two classrooms - each with at least 25 kids.  There is one kindergarten aide who divides her time between three classrooms (but supposedly they have a lot of parent volunteers).  Right now Thomas is used to a classroom with 10 children and 5 teachers.  Yeah.  He seems to go in cycles - I've mentioned this before - but up and down and up and down.  Sometimes we realize what triggers an 'off' time, but usually not.  He's going to have 'off' times in Kindergarten - can they handle that?  He's a great kid.  He's smart and capable, but he requires a little more direction most of the time.

I've also realized that my expectations for my child in school are simply too high.  I didn't think that they were, but this year has been an eye-opener.  I want him to be happy and challenged.  That's it.  But he's not getting it at his school now, and I can't imagine that he'll get what he needs at this public school.

There is some major thinking (and praying) that needs to be done here.  I have to admit that it's nice to have some quieter time to spend with the other children when Thomas is at school.  I have to admit that I don't know exactly how it's all going to work if he stays home.

But I also have to admit that my heart is just not into sending my boy to school - again - he's been in some kind of early-intervention or preschool class since he was 2.

****

PRO:
only 3 hours a day
less structured and less intense than his preschool
he might like it
social interaction
year-round school means 'off-track' time for breaks
we could pull him out if it's not working

CON:
he might not be able to handle that much stimulation
he might be frustrated by his fine-motor skill issues
his teacher might not be able to handle him
year-round school means 'off-track' time for breaking routines

teasing?

(note to self:  go observe the kindergarten class in session!)

Up To...

Actually, we're not up to much here today.  I'm feeling quite boring, really.  Sorry about that!

I finally sat down and sewed something - first time in a month!  Isn't that crazy?  Stupid strep... I never made Christmas gifts for Thomas' teachers because I was sick. I'm thinking of packaging these tissue holders with anti-bacterial gel... or chocolate.  Since they're very very late.  (He has a lot of teachers - just like last year - same gift, too).

Today we pulled out the fingerprint book and inkpads, and when we weren't looking Thomas scribbled all over Princess' lovely pond drawing.  That's the not-so-good part.  But then, with his own paper and unsupervised, he made this:


Tie-Fighters!   I love this - they look like them!  We usually draw them (he's always asking us to draw Star Wars stuff) with a circle with lines on the side.

He's been a stinker today (no school) so this is something positive to talk about. :)

Oh, yeah, I signed up for Miniswap3, too - anyone else in?

Thomas Update

I've mentioned before about how Thomas seems to go through a rough spell before an improvement or jump in skills.  I think that's just happened again, thank goodness!  I need to record this, so that I remember the positive and the progress that he's made.

He was pretty 'off' for a couple of months.  But this month he is a rockstar.

(Below Photo: Monkey and Thomas 'writing notes' to each other - mailboxes from the dollar section of Target)

He and Monkey have been playing together - well and constantly!  I'm glad that Monkey came when he did and is precocious.  I say this because when I was pregnant I really wanted Monkey to be a girl, and now I'm so very glad that he's not!  Having two boys to play together is amazing.  I'm always hearing 'Monkey!  Monkey!  Wanna play Legos?'  or 'I don't want Thomas to go to school, I want to play with him!'. 

They will sit and play playdoh and use words (instead of just snatching) to share the little tools for it.

They hunt dragons, dinosaurs and AT-AT's together - with only swords as weapons.  They are very brave.

They also duel - as Peter Pan and Captain Hook.

They head up to their bedrooms to play blocks or Legos.

When Thomas runs out of snack, he doesn't grab Monkey's (anymore) but he asks Monkey for some, and usually Monkey is happy to share.

It's been awesome.

Thomas has been able to play games a little better.  He's never had patience enough to wait his turn and understand board games before, but we've now had a handful of successful 'Memory' games - a few of which he's won.  He digs 'Hullaballoo', too.  I'm excited that we can play games together now.
                                    
(Photo below:  Monkey and Thomas having a little supervised time in Princess' room - a rare treat.  They got into the Barbies, and Thomas' Barbie is kissing the prince.)

Thomas has been wanting to practice writing!  He loves carrying around a small notebook and pen and making 'tickets' for everyone (for the train, of course).  I'd bought him a cool tracing workbook, which he would be interested in for 2 minutes and not want to pick it up for 2 months.  Now he voluntarily gets it out and is doing great!  I guess his fine-motor skills caught up with him just enough to spark his interest/relieve some frustration?

He's been awesome about his diet, too (GFCF).  He's finally able to understand it a little.  While the excellent sharing between him and his brother has been exciting, it also means that Monkey tries sharing things that Thomas can't have.  Once Monkey got into the chocolate chips and snitched a handful.  I didn't realize this, but as I walked by Thomas, he handed me the one Monkey had shared with him.  No words, but he knew he wasn't supposed to have it.  Good boy!

(Photo Below:  Playing blocks - and moving fast to get 'their share'.)

Thomas has been making great progress at school, and has just started attending the 'integrated' (mostly non-delayed kids) preschool at his school one afternoon a week.  And he did great.  After attending a meeting about transitioning special-needs kids to kindergarten, I'm guessing that he'll be able to attend a 'regular' kindergarten, with some pull-out time for working on fine-motor and speech.  Let's keep our fingers crossed that we find the right spot for him!

He still has his moments, but it's good to see improvements!

Halloween Recap

How is it November???  This is crazy.  My mind is racing with ideas of Christmas gifts and decorations, a shop update (I have four shirts nearly done - it's just been too busy to list them!), and other fun stuff - but it's been too busy to get anything done.  Plus, I pretty much have to dig my machine out of my crafting corner to do anything. Ugh.

We had fun introducing the kids to Pixy Stix this year - and these are what we left on the porch - we both wanted to go Trick-or-treating with the kids this year (and good thing, as we needed the hands and supervision).  There were still some left when we returned - so people were honest!

Thomas had a class party on Halloween - I'm the room mom, which means I get to pick the treat, etc.  That's a great position to be in when your kid is the only one with dietary restrictions.  I opted for chocolate chip cookies (with a few GFCF ones for my kiddo that looked the same) to avoid the Frosted Costume Problem.  The school provided a pinata (stupid!) so I had the kids decorate lunch bags with stickers to collect the candy.  I made these little clothespin bats to close them up after (which was a pretty good idea, I thought - it provided some closure to the pinata activity, and kept the candy from spilling out all over the backpacks).  It's a simplified Martha idea.

Some kids decorated their bags more than others and most decorated the top of the bags - which then got folded down.  To do this again, I'd give the kids the bags with the tops already folded to encourage decorating the bottom. 

I really wanted to keep the class party simple.  Really simple.  It's not like the kids would be super wound up anyway.  And the school had a parade (and pinata and other optional activites) planned.  I think most class parties and birthday parties are overplanned these days (says the overplanner - but I'm talking activities, not details).  Esp. with the younger set.  They're happy just to hang out together in their costumes!

Trick or Treating was fun.  Weird, though, starting in daylight... (stupid Daylight Savings Time.... grumble grumble).  Thomas had a great time at the beginning, but got pretty freaked out as it got dark.  He would stay on the sidewalk with Aaron while the other kids went to the houses, and then we decided to just take him home.  And the others, too - since Princess probably shouldn't have been walking so much on her cast (Yes, cast!  more on that later).  We'd brought the wheelchair with us, though, so she got pushed back home. 

An interesting Halloween.

Roller Pumpkin

Recently, while drawing, Thomas drew a pumpkin.  He's not a big draw-er, but he drew a face (adding extra eyes for beauty - or fright), an extra leg, and several extra feet.

This is one of his first representational drawings that actually look like what he's talking about - not that I have anything against the abstract.

(and, yeah, still in his pj's - on his days off from school we don't push the clothes issue.)

Do you see those legs?  I'm so proud - I've been waiting for those roller feet for a long time.  It's a developmental stage all kids go through (so says my art education professors and texts), but I'd never seen him do it yet.

Woo hoo!

The piece is proudly hanging on our magnetic wall.  And it may become something more permanent. 

Hooray, my boy!

and
Happy Halloween

to you!

Get Involved

The Green Outline will wait a little longer, as this post had to come first...

I've been thinking recently about how important it is to get involved with your child's school.  Thomas' school has amazing communication, notes come home every day, but it wasn't until I observed the classroom that I realized that something really wasn't working for Thomas.

In short, there is an attending program that the kids go through to train them to sit with feet and hands still. They do other regular 'preschool' stuff, and when they complete the attending program there is tons of other stuff to work on, including academics. But first, they spend hours a day working on this attending program (which, yes, sounds boring but these kids need it).

Anyway, I get notes every day telling me exactly which step of the program he worked on for each session (there are about 40 steps), and how well he did.  I get notes from the teacher telling how he did that day.  He reached a point where he stalled, and his scores were going slowly down, and he was still towards the beginning of the program.

When I went and sat in his class and watched him, I recognized the behavior (similar at times to speech) that said to me that he is bored out of his mind.  He's a smart kid, and it was hard to watch him watching some of the other kids doing other things - he wanted to move on, but didn't understand that this is a process he has to pass off first.  He completely understood what he was expected to do, but he didn't always do it, either to be silly, or because he was just sick of it (it may be he's hit another off time, or it may be that the sensory demands of school are starting to catch up with him, but boredom definitely is playing a part).

At this rate, he's not going to finish the stupid program until the end of the year!

There were some communications with his teacher (where she really thought he just 'wasn't complying' and needed to just keep going) where I insisted that he's only not complying because he's bored, and he's perfectly capable of trying the end result. They eventually skipped him to the last few steps.  Yeah, he's doing WAY better.  I cheered for him when I read the teacher's note that they'd skipped him way ahead and he did AWESOME in his first session.

I volunteered in the class again yesterday, and he's doing at least as well as last week, but at a much higher level.  That's my boy.  He'll be done with the program in a couple of weeks.

***My point being, it doesn't matter if your kid has special needs or not, goes to an amazing school (or not), has a teacher who has excellent communication with you - you need to go check out the classroom.  Go and see what your kid is doing, and if it's the right fit for your them.  Most kids (and even teenagers) don't really know what and how to tell you about school. Volunteer in the classroom, get to know the teacher better, just watch your kid - no one knows them better than you do.***

I just shudder to think how Thomas' behavior and happiness at school would have continued to decline if I hadn't gone in to watch and insisted on something that worked better for him.

If you're not your child's advocate, who will be?

(Also a result of the past week's 'issues', we've decided that we just may homeschool Thomas as well - depending on what Kindergarten program we find for him.  More and more we're realizing that there probably won't be the perfect school situation for him - and anything less isn't good enough.)

Which is a lot to think about.  Makes me tired already! :)

School Update

We're slowly getting the hang of our New Routines.  In a couple of weeks I'll be feeling much better about them! 

It's hard to get Thomas up and ready for school.  I've never had to do that - wake him, make sure he eats, pack lunches, etc.  How do you ladies do it all the time? He's just not a fast mover in the morning and I feel bad rushing him.

Princess, Monkey, and I have been out walking/riding nearly every morning after Thomas and Aaron leave.

I used to walk everywhere with the kids.  Rain or shine (I had a cover for the stroller)

I was out walking.  But for the past year or so it's been tough.  First because Princess couldn't keep up on her scooter (pre-two-wheeler) - or she'd get tired - and then because Thomas had no patience for sitting in the stroller and would start smacking Monkey... you can see why we stopped walking as often.

Thomas has been doing great in school.  Each day he comes home with a sheet of paper divided into sections of what he did that day, who with, and how well he did.  It's usually covered with things like: 'He's a joy to work with', "He did awesome!', or "He's so cute!'.  That's good stuff.  He seems to like school.  He's just beat when he gets home.  That kid crashes at night now - and Saturday he slept until 8:00!  I don't think he's ever done that before!  He's my 6:00am or earlier dude!

The long commutes have been tough on him, though - poor carsick little buddy.  Actually, the photo of our walk/ride over here is the day we turned around early because Aaron called.  He said, "He totally threw up, should I---"  and then my phone died.  So we RAN back to make sure everything was okay.

So, I'm trying to be better about keeping my cell on me and charged at all times, just in case.

He was getting sick on the bus, too - but I think we have that problem fixed.

We have to pick him up at a group bus stop every afternoon.  We've been spending a lot more time in the car.  New pet peeve:  I'm in my car with the windows down, door open to let in the breeze (it's finally cooled off a little, here!) and someone (or several) parks next to me, and keeps their car idling!  Yuck.  It makes me mad - people (esp. the ones in huge trucks) idling their car for 15 minutes with the A/C on, blowing exhaust in the air (and my car!)

...rant over.

Spending more time in the car also means we need entertainment for the kiddos.  We've started taking more books and coloring stuff (or leftover schoolwork) in the car for while we're waiting.

Getting used to Thomas' school has just required a new way of thinking (about everything!) you know?  But we'll get there.

   

New Routines

I'm back!

See?  (Now if only I had aimed slightly higher...)

Thank you SO much for all your kind comments, emails, and virtual hugs!  You guys rock and I so appreciate it.

I won't go into details, but last week was very emotionally and physically draining.  Now if I could just sleep for the next week...

Two weeks ago we had a relatively busy week, and I was really looking forward to the next week to get prepared mentally and otherwise, for school (and everything else) to start up.  I had nothing on my calendar last week!  I was excited to have a week to get ready.  Well, that plan was shot.   But we'll make it.

Today we begin the new school year.  Princess (officially) begins second grade at home, and has her first ever piano lesson. Her new dance class starts this week, too. She's way excited about it all.

Thomas starts his new school today!  It's very exciting.  It means big changes for our family, and getting used to all new routines.  I have been looking forward to today as my 'new year'.  I will miss that kid SO much all day!  But he is super excited and at the same time, I'm looking forward to being able to manage more chemistry experiments, and other projects this year with Princess.  And I'm needing to start new exercise routines, too.  The past year or two have been SO hard that way!

So here is the new year, the one I was going to be so prepared for, and I'm just feeling tired.  Seriously beat.  Can I have a one-week summer extension, please?

Pretty please?

Baby Steps

Or rather, Big Boy Steps.

(All the kids painting)

Progress.  Good stuff.  It seems as if Thomas makes progress slowly but steadily, but will occasionally have a little regression right before making a big jump.  Does that make sense?

That happened recently.  A hard time, followed by another speech explosion and some big behavior improvements. 

For one, he is now sleeping with his door open.  That might not sound like much, but he's always had to have it closed or he just runs out. Repeatedly.  Over and over. Or he gets so distracted he can't sleep.  Monkey started asking for his door to be open, so Thomas did, too.  It's actually quite a big thing for him to be able to do that.

(Note the delicate way Thomas handles his brush - he's not smashing it down at all!  Ha!)

Also, and I was reminded of this again today and how great it is:  he's been walking next to the cart in a store instead of having to sit in it.  Seriously HUGE step for him.  Since Monkey was born and had to take up the front baby seat in the cart, Thomas has had to ride in the back part.  (One of those things I swore I'd never do with my kids - but he just ran away or would lay on the ground and refuse to move if I tried him out of the cart). 

Even in the cart, he'd freak out in Target and turn around and start smacking Monkey.  Or grabbing stuff off shelves, or throw things out of the cart, or ... the list goes on.  Needless to say, shopping has been very hard for us for the past two years.  And if it's a place without carts - forget it.  Now and then I've tried letting him walk - usually when he insisted - but even a couple of months ago that would only last a minute before he ran off.  Grr.

(Then his painting got folded up to become a spaceship)

All of a sudden he demanded to not be put in the cart.  I told him he had to hang on to the side of the cart if he wanted to walk, otherwise he'd have to go in.  Shopping the past couple of weeks has been amazing!  Seriously, I had a wonderful morning today, and we went to two stores!  And Thomas walked the whole time!  We even detoured and checked out the toys and books in both stores - just because he was having such a good time there!  Not to mention that I can fit a lot more in the cart now.

And, while he's made huge potty-training progress over the past... six months, he still has accidents quite often, but even that has been getting better!

Happy!  This post is in part to remind myself the next time he seems to be having problems - more progress is coming!  Baby steps to the finish line!

 

(And then he painted his forehead - and his brother.)