On being a Mom

I love being a mom.  I so do.

I think that society (and even sometimes, inadvertently, us bloggers who write about our daily ups and downs) give mothering a bad name.  I just want to throw this out:  Being a mom rocks.

There is nothing better.  I firmly believe there is no more important job in. the. world.  Nothing.  Nothing is more important that caring for and nurturing these amazing children.  Doing your best to ensure that they are safe and grow up to be good people.

Yes, there is snot.  And poop.  Waiting for too long at doctor's offices and trying to clean the house with your kids 'un-doing' your work right behind you. I remember getting together with a childhood friend after we were both married and Princess was a baby.  She said she was thinking of having a baby, but was concerned about stretch marks.  I was thinking 'If that's what you're worried about, you're not ready.'

Motherhood is about being selfless.  It is putting your children before yourself.  You give up a lot of your time and energy, but it's worth it.  Refocusing your priorities, especially while your children are young, is so important.

Dealing with bodily functions (and occasional whining), fumbling with strollers and chasing down kids at the park is all outweighed by the hugs and sloppy kisses, the handfuls of dandelions picked just for you.  The dance recitals, watching the wonder of them learning how to read, pretending to be pirates (even you), and rocking out to the Ramones (or the Star Wars soundtrack). The snuggling, sharing of your favorite books, and watching them develop amazing personalities all their own.

It's awesome.

And so I just want to put this out there, especially for anyone reading who doesn't have kids yet. And to my sisters, who see me sometimes stressed, exhausted, the house messy, and dealing with two newly potty-trained boys.

It's all worth it.

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there, and I urge you to share your feelings about motherhood with the girls around you, especially your daughters.

p.s.  In between attempts at writing this post I: fixed a Lego castle (broken by a brother), built a blanket fort, stopped one kid from getting into my makeup (too late!), and read a Curious George story to another kid, who was patiently waiting.  Just another morning in this family!

 

Comments

[lera]

It IS all worth it. The most important job in the world.

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home." So. Very. True.

[beki]

Very well said - Happy Mother's Day to you :)

[laeroport]

Way to multi-task, mom! And still write a beautiful post. Happy Mother's Day!

[Lisa]

Happy Mother's Day to you too!

Tho, after waking up with a hungry baby EVERY TWO HOURS last night- I could use a wee break.

[Liz]

You're so right. All of it. Thanks for reminding me!

[Ali]

As someone who hadn't had much dealing with babies and small children before having my own, I find myself disagreeing. I was utterly unperpared for the realities of Motherhood and while the good stuff was wonderful to discover on my own, I could have done with a good deal more truth telling and hand holding over the rough patches.

Mothering is hard work, wonderful yes, but far and away the hardest thing I have ever done and while we contiue to be coy about telling it how it is, I feel we condemn many struggling mothers to feelings of depression and isolation.

Let's celebrate the privilege of Mother's Day in all its mess and mayhem and joy. Good and bad together, because that's just how life is, isn't it?

[erin]

great post, kirsten! happy mother's day!

[kirsten]

*****
Ali - oh, it's HARD. definitely the hardest thing i've ever done, and I had had lots of experience with children.

some people need more support than others, for sure - and depression and such is a situation which requires help - we should all support each other as well - but motherhood is still GOOD.

not trying to be 'coy' - i don't think i glamorized motherhood at all - this is the truth for me.
*****

[Anna]

here here to your comments on it being the most rewarding thing you do and it is such an important thing we are doing for society (if you think about it we ARE social engineering here).

i am choosing to be at home in a country where being a housewife (as it is called here) is considered to be taboo. somedays are difficult others are a joy. i feel comfortable in my role now.

this time a year ago it was a different story. i wish someone had sat me down and told me how very new to life babies can be. i had a baby that would only sleep in my arms or in a sling (my nights were spent sleeping upright in a sofa for nearly 3 months), she was a hopeless feeder and i had 9 mastitis infections before she was 8 weeks. i was a mess. then the funniest thing happened. i had a very serious melanoma scare. for a few days i did not know what it all meant for me or my new family. the scare helped me out of that scary place i had gone to. and i haven't looked back since.

watching her learn new things, master skills, develop skills, the personality emerging, her wonder at the world, and putting aside my wants is worth 'the drudgery' that can with the territory.

[capello]

here, here!

happy mother's day!

[lina]

Lovely post Kirsten. Despite the hard stuff and the HUGE responsibility, being a mum is definitely the most challenging and rewarding job ever.

[molly]

i couldn't agree more - being a mother is my dream job.

[jessi]

thank you for the reminder - I just spent an hour in the doctor's office today with a very nervous little guy and I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else!

[Ria]

Hi Kirsten,
Here in Holland we celebrate mothersday too.
I am so very, very happy to be a mother. I had to wait 8 years before Pelle was born, and griefed over miscarrages and not getting pregnant. Finaly our little boy came into this world (2 1/2 years ago, I just turned 41) and ever since I feel so much love flowing through me. Raising him and being with him to me is not hard at all, it's getting me close to the core of life.
Happy mothersday. And thanks for the inspiration.

[fiona]

great post kirsten, it is hard and funny and tiring and exhausting and fantastic and frustrataing and sad and warm and sloppy and cuddly and smelly and so, so good.And i think if you feel even half that your doing it right! Happy Mothers Day!

[Deirdre]

Loved this one. Whereas voicing one's concerns or exasperations over the trials of motherhood was once taboo, now it is celebrating its joys that is often frown upon. Crazy. It's a mixed bag, a bumpy ride, and every mixed metaphor out there, but there is nothing else like it, and I wouldn't trade a minute of it.

Thanks for this lovely post.

[sarah]

Happy, happy, happy Mother's Day Weekend to you, too! Lots of love & happy thoughts to you and your family.

[julie]

Well said Kirsten. I was thinking just a few days ago that despite feeling shattered most of the time and even despite unexpected set-backs, I've never been happier since becoming a Mum. I love that I get to stay at home with my children, whereas some of my friends work full time and pass their kids in the hallway. In a worldthat seems to encourage women to 'have it all' in terms of career, social life and having children shoe-horned inbetween it's good to know that there are women like you who understand what is really important. Hope you have a great Mother's day Kirsten - although I have no doubt that you will!

[Jen b]

you said it so well. happy mother's day kirsten!!

[Berlinswhimsy]

Kirsten---So aptly said! You're right, there is nothing more important than raising kids to be healthy and kind adults---and it's not always easy. Happy Mothers Day!!

[janice]

Amen. Amen. Happy Mothers Day to a Mom who rocks motherhood.

[chelle]

Yeah for you! Happy Mother's Day!

[cici]

you said it all. no better job. period.

[Kim]

Lovely Mother's Day post! I wholeheartedly agree; being a mom is challenging and hard work, but it's also the thing I'm most proud of and enjoy the most :)

[miss chris]

Happy Mother's day! :) xoxo